I love slow news days. It's when the whole fucking world turns into the national enquirer.People make up shit just to make it seem like it's news. This just in: Joe Blow died today in his nap. He finished eating his supper, went to his favorite chair, picked his nose a bit, watched the six o'clock news and snoozed while waiting to hear alex trebek's voice. For years he was an avid fan of vanna white but lately because of his health he was unable to wake from his nap to watch vanna flip the letters. His wife shirley said, "I knew once joe couldn't stay awake for vanna, it was the beginning to the end." She also said, "I was jealous of her. " But john, joe blow's best buddy had this to say,"joe loved shirley a lot, but damn, that changed after he thought she was paying more attention to dr. kildare than him." Whoa, wait a fucking minute. (flash on the screen) we interrupt this program...joe blow is not dead...14 vehicles with 40 of his volunteer firemen friends showed up at his home to perform some sort of mouth to mouth procedure on him & fucking aye, it worked. Lucky for joe and shirley that they discovered joe's problem all these last few years has been sleep apnea and not lack of interest in shirley. On the way out of the house all the volunteer firemen gave shirley a firm hug and they tucked their hoses back in the truck. It was quite an ordeal...later that night, joe called shirley...vanna. Maybe this shit shouldn't have been reported. Sorry.
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